1. Having to use Google to help with fourth grade math. Still not understanding it.
2. Running out of lead in the mechanical pencil and having to manually sharpen a #2.
3. Trying to explain the difference between “c” and “k” to a 5-year-old.
4. Midnight trips to the craft store for hot glue and popsicle sticks for a project due at 8 a.m.
5. Watching your kid work an iPad more efficiently than you.
6. “Family Homework Projects” HAHAHAHAHAHA!
7. Bribing your way through the whines and tears just to get it done, and knowing that the only thing actually learned was how many treats they can sucker out of you for finishing three pages of math problems.
8. Trying to help your kid study for tomorrow’s test, and realizing that you don’t know the correct answers and can’t even find them in this stupid book. Starting to wonder if maybe you need to hire a tutor for 5th grade Social Studies for the both of you.
9. Repeating, “Are you finished with your homework yet?” a billion times each evening.
10. Eye rolls, tears, and grumbling combined with long-suffering sighs. It’d be nice to think those were coming from the kids, instead of you.
11. Insisting that your kid do his own work, and then seeing all the sharp and obviously parent-completed projects at Science Night.
12. Hiding in the corner of the laundry room with your spouse for a best 2 out of 3 in Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine whose turn it is to help with homework tonight. Losing the battle.
13. Incomplete or vague instructions on tonight’s homework due tomorrow with no way to ask anyone for clarification this time of night.
14. Getting notes back from the teacher on all the things wrong with your kid’s homework, when you helped him with the majority of it.
15. Homework kills trees. It kills all the trees. Save the planet. Stop the madness.