The Old Person’s Guide to Hip Young Modern Lingo


Noun. Term of endearment variously thought to either be a truncation of “baby” or an acronym meaning “before anybody else.”


Verb meaning that one is asking for trouble by their behavior.
Example: “You are baiting those police officers by smoking a bong and blowing your marijuana smoke into their car.”


Adjective meaning that one does not care about what others think about them or their behavior.


Adjective meaning average, boring, or routine. A “basic bitch” is a female who is extremely average yet doesn’t realize it.

Blowing up (one’s phone, social media feed, etc.)

Abusing a medium of communication by overusing it.


A noun that used to be common in black culture denoting “brother” in a convivial sense but which has shamelessly been appropriated by Caucasians to mean a heterosexual male who is kind of a douchebag. Variants include “bra,” “breh,” “bruv,” “braj,” “Bromosapien,” “Brosephine,” “Bro Montana,” and “Bromosapien.” To give a “brojob” is to pull a prank on a fellow bro. An alternate term is “dudebro.” A “broshi” or “broshki” is a derogatory term denoting a masculine lesbian.

“Bye, Felicia”

A dismissive term used to get rid of someone about whom you don’t care a whit.


Noun denoting a female derriere.


Intoxicated, tired, used up, or sometimes all three.


Short for “crazy.” The term “cray cray” roughly translates as “especially cray.”


Adjective meaning “uncool” or “not with it.” Example: “Your record collection of 1980s dance hits is so dad.”


Short form of the word “though.” Example: “I ate the last donut, but I didn’t think it really mattered, doe.”


Adjective roughly meaning “cool,” “hip,” “neato,” or “peachy-keen.”


Acronym meaning “Formerly Fat Chick,” denoting a young woman who lost weight either through rigorous exercise, stringent diet, or excessive use of amphetamines.


Getting ready to do something. Short for “fixing to.”


Arrogantly showing off one’s skills or powers in a shameless and vainglorious manner.

Flippity floppity floop

An exceptionally colorful and alliterative phrase denoting one’s personal domicile.


Acronym meaning “Fear Of Missing Out.” It has nothing to do with homosexuality, or at least I don’t think it does.




Acronym meaning “hit me up,” which in layman’s terms has nothing to do with violence and instead means “Contact me at your convenience, will you?”

Iced out

Wearing lots of diamonds or fake diamonds that appear to the naked eye to be genuine diamonds.


A more decent and less offensive form of the word “sh*t.”

Jelly (or jelz)

Jealous. Envious. Player-hating. Seething with resentment. It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.


The new version of “LOL,” AKA “laughing out loud.”

Mad brick

Very cold temperature-wise rather than emotionally. If it is “mad brick outside,” one would be wise to wear a parka before venturing out.


Having a grand time with you and your closest friends.


Relaxing in the manner that moss does when it sits around and lazily grows on a rock.

No chill

Ironically, it means being uncool. I don’t understand why.

On fleek

A newer, hepper, sassier version of the urban phrase “on point,” which means something is as it should be. If a girl has prepared her eyebrows in an alluring and sensuous manner, her eyebrows are said to be “on fleek.”


A derogatory term usually denoting a female with loose morals and who may not even be a virgin.


Defeated. A newer version of “pwned.” More extreme variants include “Tyrannosaurus Rekt” and “Shrekt.”


Acronym meaning “right now,” which is confusing to Registered Nurses across the country.


Mad, angry, defensive, whiny, upset, and generally poopy-headed.


Fearless, brave, and willing to take risks. Example: “When Tarnell jumped over that police car on his skateboard, it was totally savage.”

Sleepin’ on

To be unconcerned and unaware during a potentially dangerous or life-threatening situation.


Acronym meaning “shaking my head.” A more extreme and profane version is “SMDH,” which means “shaking my damn head.”


One’s group of friends. Formerly known as “posse,” “crew,” “homies,” and “chums.”

Stay in your lane

A derisive phrase meaning, “You are beneath me, and I would prefer that you do not trouble me with your inferior life and petty problems, thank you very kindly.”

Streets ahead

Advanced far beyond one’s competitors.


To avoid or dismiss someone. A more modern version of saying, “Get the heck out of here.”


An acronym meaning “to be honest” and used exclusively by people who are usually liars.


Something that’s currently trendy. Example: “Country line dancing is no longer a thing.”


Desperate either emotionally and/or for intimacy.


An acronym meaning “that ho over there,” which is used to signal a woman of ill repute within one’s vicinity but not within earshot.

Throwing shade

Insulting a person in a way that they don’t even realize it.


A portmanteau formed by fusing the words “true” and “real” as if they were numbers and you had multiplied them together.


Extremely intoxicated. Example: “Dan and Justin drank a case of beer together while waiting for a pair of girls who never showed up, leaving them alone and turnt.”


An acronym for “you only live once,” a lesson that becomes more frighteningly clear to me with each passing day.

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